Spring Prep March 21, 2011
Stephen’s laptop died, and since I have a prepaid phone and all calls coming in or going out cost 25cents a minute we haven’t been able to talk much. I didn’t take the video chats for granted by any means, but yeah they did mean a lot. We got to relax and he got to hear the baby talking – she’s talking a lot more now than when he left, and he didn’t have much time alone with her during our visit and what time he did have was filled with lots of other people and noise and the kid herself was constantly tired and distracted. I feel bad that he’s missing out on stuff. Things are pretty great – the baby is lovey and smart and funny and her sleeping has started to even out again, though she does wake 5 or 6 times a night and need me to go tuck her in, there are no tantrums or sad hysterics or demands that she sleep with me. She’s feeling much better and it shows in her behaviour during the day. She’s able to play on her own a bit more, and she pretends more, she enjoys her time outside more – though she absolutely has not wanted to go to the park – and we have lots of hugs and kisses.
So anyways, we had fun outside today. I’m teaching her how to walk distances – so far going up and down the hill to the plaza is hard on her and on me, but today was much better than the day before. I think partly because I timed it better, and we weren’t gone for so long. She was wanting to crawl on the last hill though, so I know she was having trouble because she’s tired. Well… That’s ok, I mean. She has to learn to listen and she needs to get strong, walking won’t hurt her. I’m just not feelin the whole push-the-baby-carriage-the-groceries up the hill thing anymore – and I’m not blaming a big belly or anything. I’m just tired. That 33 pounds less makes a HUGE difference. Now that she realizes that she gets tired on the big walks, it might make her more open to actually sitting IN the carriage again, which would be nice for us both. I don’t mind her walking but she’s been fighting it a lot lately and when she have to get somewhere it’s not ok.
She IS learning. We still argue, and the house is a hurricane tonight, the laundry is all clean but unfolded in mass quantities – but we hug and kiss and dance and go out every day and at least the house is CLEAN whether or not it’s tidy. We started working on the yard again, and it already looks a lot cleaner. I got the water turned back on so I put down a bag of grass seed again, and watered and raked, and planted a flower bed with three kinds of flowers – don’t ask me what kind, I don’t really care – turned over my neglected compost and added some brown materiel, and picked up most of the garbage. I have a huge load that needs to be taken to the dump – Stephen’s job – I have about 5 bags of recycling that need to be taken… somewhere…and the sheds need to be emptied, too. 
Well, we’re enjoying what we have and I’m going to bed now! And not worrying about the house cleaning until tomorrow. Fiddle dee dee or what ever. Huzzah.
March 19, 2011
She built those and brought them each to me, saying “Mama, wook a I made!” Very proud.
That’s her proud face. Bit scary!
my mother got those blocks for her when she came down to visit us… so long ago. We were lucky that both my parents were able to see us here in Lillooet at least once. It would have been strange for them to not know where I lived. Stephen is at a new job that I’ve never seen, with people I’ve never met, and that unsettles me a little. I like to have a visual of where the people I love spend their days.
It’s been hard talking to my parents lately. I miss them a lot. I wish they weren’t missing out on so much of the baby but I’m so very grateful that we are able to chat on video. Isn’t that amazing? And it’s practically free. So lucky. Imagine immigrating to the New World in the 1700s or something – you’d never see anyone again. If you could write and send letters, and if they got there, it’d take a year to hear back. I don’t have it so hard.
Stephen’s laptop died though. So we haven’t been able to chat. Just texting. It’s been lonely the last week.
Playgroup is shut down for a week while the co-ordinator attends a conference in Pendiction. It’s a really intense workshop regarding diabetic health and I”m so glad she’s able to go, she’s had health issues for a long time. It does mean that I’ve no where to take the baby really. I can bring her to the library but she’s not really… a library kid. She’s pretty noisy and we never stay long. I’ll have to find things to do with her – at least the school is closed for March break! Free park any time of the day. I like to take her on walks to the grocery stores too, and let her wander and pick out a fruit or veggie or something to snack on on the way home. It’s a way to fill the day.
So, I splurged. This is a brilliant post, isn’t it? Whatever, my life really IS this exciting so yes, I’m posting a picture of my shoes.
These… were expensive. I went in because I saw a sale on, but all shoes on sale were size 6. I shoulda coulda left! But I’d been thinking you know, about the last 4 months of my pregnancy with Éowyn and that awful back pain, the round ligament pains… the knee pain that I deal with just everyday and well. I walk everywhere. It’s necessary w/out a car but I LIKE walking and I NEED to get out – it helps my mood, it’s the only exercise I get, I want to teach the baby that walking is fun and not a chore. I’ll appreciate the fuck outta these in a few months. They’re pretty swell and I hope they LAST coz whoah. Luxury shoes.
So, I got outside with her after her nap today and cleaned the yard a bit more. I can’t really do much at once coz she gets bored so quickly most times. swept the concrete, put the soaker hoses away, turned the neglected compost… then tried to get out for a walk with her but we didn’t get far before she wanted to come back home. No park. She’s bored with it, and I am too – same GD park everyday for the last two years. Hardly ever any kids there to play with either which is strange to me. There’s not much else to do around here, but maybe if you have family… eh.
We’ve been having issues with sleep lately. Well. Getting to sleep. Fuck, you and me both, kid. Guess both our brains are jacked up most nights. Éowyn’s never slept with us, or with me or anything. A few time she’d doze beside me as an infant but that’s it. We never wanted to co-sleep, and neither did she. While we were at her grandparent’s house, though, she had trouble sleeping for various reasons – I ended up sleeping with her, or at the very least lying down with her till she slept most nights. She was fine when we got home, no adjustment issues, but it started out that she’d have nightmares and I’d bring her into my bed because to be honest – I have my own panic attack problems and I can’t deal with scared baby at night, alone. It terrifies me. NOT YOUR FIRST CANDIDATE FOR MOTHERHOOD AM I. Anyways, that was fine the few times I did that. But eventually she wanted to go to sleep WITH me. And I gave in. Once. Twice. Three night in a row this week. And dudes she is NOT a good co-sleeper. I have my cell with me to tell time and I kept track the first two nights – no shit it takes her two hours to stop floppig around, picking her nose, hugging me, kissing me, talking to me, tickling me, scratching her butt… she finds ways to keep herself awake. For two hours. I got mad, it didn’t do anything. I was nice, didn’t make a difference. Put her back in her own bed – it was like wrestling with a 33 pound rabid cat and the NOISE oh my god. So no, I sucked it up for three nights, with her waking every hour and bouncing up bright an dearly at 6:45 and demanding breakfast and ball and show. Morning sickness started coming back – it’s not the biggest deal in the world but fucking annoying. She finally went down last night after our big day together with lots and lots of attention and outdoor time and mom to herself and a bedtime of 10pm. Tonight I got her in bed at 9:15, and while I’ve written this post I’ve gone in 3 times. She’s been quiet for the last ten minutes.
We’re waiting to hear back from some ladies who made us a really low offer in March. We refused them after they said they couldn’t afford our lowest offer – but they are apparently trying to find additional financing. When the REA told me last week she said it’d be about a two week wait until THEY knew. It’s been a week. No news. The car is hopefully going to be insured and registered in Alberta by next Monday – yes? I think? – and then Stephen can put it up for sale.
Hope something gives soon. If nothing sells, it’s not like we can stretch this out indefinately. If I weren’t pregnant I guess we could. But we have until September on that score, and I really need to get some things done before then – and I don’t know how long it’ll take to do them all. I’m really pulling for a move by May. Anything later is going to be cutting it close. I don’t know what we’ll do if nothing sells. Rent the trailer, from another province? Apply for bankruptcy and lose both house and car to afford us the money to live there? That crushes me. Bankruptcy at fucking 25 years old when I’m not even working and am due to have another kid. Not how I pictured life to be at this point. If we rent it shouldn’t come to that but renting is a whole new fucking can of worms. Maybe the ladies would want to do a rent to own thing – that’s something to ask the REA if they say they can’t secure funds. Who knows.
Ah well. Scintillating stuff. I should just go to bed. You know, where I can think about this crap until midnight.
I’ve Been Posting A Lot Of Videos Lately Haven’t I? September 9, 2010
I’ve been posting a lot of videos lately. Haven’t I?
Well, they’re fun.
We had a nice visit with a little guy from playgroup this morning – we went down to the little residential area by the river to have a visit with little R and his mum. We had a really nice time, I like these two people very much and Éowyn was so well behaved, even on the way home. They have such a beautiful little cottagey house, full of sunlight and breezy colours, and lovely little archways… makes me happy that such a nice family has such a nice place. Their yard is gorgeous too – Éowyn went around barefoot after she stepped in the pool in her socks and boots (of course, if she sees water she’s gonna go for it). I’m hoping to get my place tidied and organized a bit so I can invite them over sometime. As you can see in this video – and really, in most of my videos – the counter behind the kiddo is just… a repository for EVERY THING. I really want to change that, being organized is so nice – I just wish it lasted. I always get distracted in the end and just start flinging things places and mess it up.
I really want to get my yard trimmed and cleaned up before winter, but I hurt my arm when I destroyed that cedar bush and then bagged all the lilac and cedar detrius, and I’m not feeling to great right now so I hope I can get it done this weekend. At least then, the two kiddos might have a nice place to play. Also on the list of to dos (when the kidlet FINALLY GOES TO SLEEP TODAY) is to harvest all my green tomatoes. I don’t think they’ll ripen anymore, and I think maybe I can make a little relish with them, or a sauce, or something. Ahhhh, and then I’ll plan what I want to do next year.
Anyways, the mian point here was to show you the kiddo trying to tell a knock knock joke, which has been amusing Stephen and I to no end, the last few days. She’s so funny 🙂
Update June 7, 2010
So! It’s June now. And I’m not really into posting, I guess? The house seems to be in a constant state of MESS and the yard always needs some sort of work. We are having a lot of fun – Stephen had a nice long week off after we got home from Grande Prairie and it was so nice to have all the time together. I napped a lot, Stephen had quiet time to recharge and regroup before going back into the busy busy insanity of summer sales and the weather was lovely so we all spent and are spending a lot of time outside. In the sun, the rain, the wind, the dirt – whatever :-)!
Here are some quick pictures and another video for you.
Éowyn and I playing with laundry this morning.
Hard to believe me about the mess when I have so much help, isn’t it?
Painting!
Backyardigans are the best – they are also serious business!
Remember that bush I hacked to pieces four months ago? It’s baaaaAAAAck.
She loves her books 🙂
We had our first bbq in our yard with the grill that Cat gave us before we left Whitehorse –
And then we all headed out for our daily walk, It’s been nice having Val as a motivator to all get out for walks together every day.
That’s all for now – hope everyone is having a good day and a good summer so far!
Lots of love,
J.
MOTHER *FUCK* March 24, 2010
…the people who piled in a metric motherfucking SHIT TON of red rock BULLSHIT into the piece of shit planter they built to house the SICKLY SMELLING SPINDLY ASSED MANGY LOOKING WASP AND SPIDER ATTRACTING ROSE BUSH *RIGHT BY THE FRONT DOOR*.
I have been digging for an hour. and. a. half. and I am MAYBE half way done emptying that box of all the spider egg sacs, dead wasps, BROKEN GLASS, garbage, and ROCKS WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ROCKS EVERYWHERE? This is not landscaping! THIS IS TERRIBLE AND UGLY AND UNWORKABLE AND DIRTY.
hhh. This is seriously ridiculous. WHO in their right mind would ever consider this attractive?
Whiskey Jac 