Whiskey Jac

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:-D May 11, 2014

Filed under: assholes,Bitter,family,NOT MARTHA — whiskeyjac @ 3:59 pm

I find myself wearing the same grim lipped rictus grin my mother so frequently wore when I was growing up. 

It’s funny, coz you can’t always say “I should never have done X” because if you hadn’t done it you wouldn’t know that you SHOULDN”T have, and in some cases you’d actually regret that you hadn’t because you wouldn’t know better. 

So regret is fucking bullshit. 

So is Mother’s Day! 

I’ve been up sine 4, the washing machine doesn’t work, I just got my period, the breakfast I made didn’t keep because I made it too early – in an effort to have everything cleaned up before anyone would wake up to see the mess or the space I was taking up while cooking – and… oh yeah! I look like my mother did at my age, only not as thin. 

I’m going to put on the t.v. for the kids, read my book, and then take them out into the garden to pick up dog shit and rinse out the litter box  listen to the birds and try to stop feeling so disgustingly sorry for myself. 



February could use one less R. Februay. That sounds right. February 4, 2012

Filed under: family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 5:47 am

HEY SO WOW. I haven’t been updating this shit at all, and the kids aren’t going to be looking back through my damn facebook or emails for scrapbook stuff, so I REALLY SHOULD WRITE.

Allright lets get some visual aids happening.

We haven’t had much winter here which is pretty ok with me. It’s a drag getting a wee bobbin out when it’s -30 and these prairie winds can be brutal. There’s been a lot of slush and ice though, so even with the warmer temps we haven’t been going out much. OK AND ALSO I have no energy, and lots of chores, and the baby wants to eat all the time, and then he wants to sleep, and sometimes it just doesn’t happen! But it snowed a bit a few days ago and Éowyn and I went out into the yard and built a bit of a snow fort and a wee snow goblin – a Ukrainian snow goblin apparently – while Wolf talked to us from his chair on the stoep. She was pretty thrilled to be outside which made me feel a bit guilty but ultimately POWERFUL.

BUT Wolf is finally getting big and strong enough for his pack! We can’t go for big walks yet, but he’s good for a walk to the grocery store or a trip to the park. It’s been really great to get out and MOVE, I am still losing the baby weight but I feel pretty out of shape. He’s heavy and it’s a work out to haul him around – but not painful as a front carrier can be. I have some sleds for him – FIVE OF THEM after Christmas – but I’m always paranoid that he’ll like, shoot off them int he middle of the street or something… and besides, walking at my own pace is such a treat. I have taken him out on my own a few times and it’s been a boon to my mental health. He’s much happier up where he can see everything, anyways 🙂

Baba went to Quebec for awhile and during the month that he was gone we had a real cold snap and even Nana didn’t want to go out. So, now that he’s home, we’ve visited more often. It’s tiring for me because of the interruption to our routine, and the lack of anything chore like to do kinda makes me feel soporific. It’s very very good to see the kids and my parents together though. Éowyn gives them a lot of attitude, which stresses me out for a few reasons. Am I raising her to be polite, is she hurting their feelings, am I being to hard on her or not hard enough, CHRIST is she yelling again… but then I remind myself that she doesn’t do this with much of anyone else. She treats them the way she treats Stephen and me. So… it must mean she is comfortable with them. This place is like her second home and it does my heart so much good to see that. I would get majorly depressed when I was pregnant with Wolf, before I knew they were moving down here… thinking about everything they’d miss with the new baby and with Éowyn growing up. This is pretty amazing.

Wolf has been hitting some milestones, let me see if I can pull a few up off the top of my head. He can grab his toes like that, and he LOVES it 🙂 It makes diaper time easy… he can pass things from hand to hand and he is very interested in toys now. He has started on solid food – we were going to wait till week 20 but started in week 19 because he was waking all night long, having issues with nursing during the day (distracted, Éowyn went through that phase too, but SHE didn’t have a 3 year old whirling all over the place and exacerbating it) and he is SO interested in our food. We started him on boxed rice cereal which he loved and took like a champ – no gagging, spitting, confusion, aversion – and so far he’s tried avocado, banana, carrots, and peas. We finally broke down and got some damn jarred food because i couldn’t get a perfectly smooth consistency right and it seemed to bug him. No matter, this stage doesn’t last too long and I feed him fresh stuff when I can. He’ll be fine. It’s been fun 🙂 Oh, what else. He can roll from tummy to back, and back to tummy, though not regularily yet. He can almost sit unassisted, and loves to go play with his sister and someone to prop him up. He is exceedingly proud when you stand him up 🙂 I don’t know what all else is a milestone, but he’s hittin em all appropriately at any rate.

Éowyn has started to be interested in mothering. She gets to do a lot of little things with Wolf – they bathe together now, and she loves to wash him. She puts his penaten on him sometimes, and helps me throw his diapers away. She wipes him off when he spits up, hands him toys, sings to him and makes him laugh when he’s fussy, and generally dotes on him. She uses her toys to express other mothering – she climbs into the rocking chair and nurses her stuffies, puts them to bed, disciplines them, feeds them, changes their diapers and tells me about how she’s going to be a mama when she grows up. Right now that seems to be the best career she can think of. Which is gratifying, I guess 🙂 I remember thinking that. I’m pretty happy with it, so really, I am just totally stoked to see her doing this.

Her father takes great pains to tell her it won’t happen for SOME TIME.

Speaking of Stephen. He’s a love. I’m so glad he isn’t working the oilfields. Obviously we are spending a lot of time with the baby, and I know she is feeling insecure about that at times, so we’ve both been getting some one on one time with her, every day. She and her dad watched all the original star wars movies together and she LOVED them, which was fun for Stephen. She didn’t show as much interest in LOTR, but now she’s into watching him play Bayonetta on the xbox before bed. He usually puts her to bed while I nurse Wolf, and if she wakes later before we go to bed (or, more likely, just doesn’t go to sleep) I go in to her and lay down with her and talk and sing and cuddle. Sometimes he comes in to talk a little bit with us. It’s good. I think she still remembers and is slightly anxious about how he left us for those few months a year ago. She always asks where he is and when he is coming home again when she wakes up, and a while back S told me that she usually asks him if he’s coming home after work the next day. Lately I’ve heard him say goodnight, and as he closes her door, “I’ll see you after work tomorrow” ❤ I'm glad she gets lots of one on one time with him on the weekends – he's made a habit of taking her out sledding, or to his parent's house, and last weekend they both went to the pool. We took her out of preschool because it was tiring her out and all three of us were getting stressed out with a rushed morning routine 3 days a week. She was angry about being rushed and brushed and washed and fed and dressed. Wolf was mad about being bundled up twice, having to wait in a over heated class in all his outdoor clothes, not being allowed to nap when he wanted, being woken up to go back out, and having snow and wind blow into his tiny face. And me? I was tired as fuck in the mornings and got tired of yelling. Now they tend to sleep in until they want to get up, breakfast can take an hour, and things are much calmer. I thought it would be really hard to be cooped up with miss social butterfly here, but it's actually been pretty chill. It helps to have my folks around to take us out once in awhile, and now that Wolf is bigger we can go out once in awhile, too. The TV helps, absolutely, but I'm not going to beat myself up about that. I know how much we got out last summer when I was uncomfortable with the pregnancy – and I know we'll make up for it. Honestly I'm so looking forward to spring and the advent of toddler hood. This town has so much to do, and is so pretty, and the weather is so nice. AND I WON"T BE PREGNANT.


THese were taken at my folk’s place today. She showed up wearing her tutu – she had wanted to wear her Bawway clothes – black tights and her pink sparkly shirt – to their place and when we got there they had a surprise for her – a new tutu to keep at their place so she could dance for them. She promptly put the new skirt on and Wolf got to wear the old one 🙂 He was very happy! She’s been really into ballet for a bit and we finally had an epiphany – DUDE THE YOUTUBES HAS BAWWAY.

Since she started watching things like Swan Lake and The Nutcracker I’ve seen a real change in her dancing. She’s imitating them! It’s super fucking cute, and it reminds me of how much I used to love to dance. She just loves jumping and flailing and it’s so cool to see that she’s emoting while she does it, not just going crazy with hyperactivity. There are dance classes here… maybe one day 🙂 For now, I just really want to find videos and music to play downstairs for her, where there is lots of room. Tchaikovsky is an old favourite, and I haven’t listened to his music is a very long time, not since I was a kid and listening to the Nutcracker at Christmastime.

I’m getting pretty tired… Stephen is out at a movie with his brother David and it’s my bedtime. Here are a few more photos for now, and I’m signing out.
Things are good. We’re all together, we are warm, healthy, well fed, have tons of books and toys, and while we yell lots, I’m pretty sure she laugh more.


Little Flirt November 10, 2011

Filed under: family,gives me hope — whiskeyjac @ 2:36 pm

He is so in love with her! The other day he was just staring around non-committally, and then she climbed up onto the bed with him. OH MY he started babbling and kicking and smiling the second he saw her, arching his back and craning his head to look at her. My heart. Éowyn says “He loves me just like I love him!”

I hope for them to grow into good friends. Al sibs fight, but I hope they grow to recognize what an ally they have in each other.


Hi Gramma Barb November 7, 2011

Filed under: family — whiskeyjac @ 2:10 pm

Barb I’ll send you the link here, I’m not sure if you know about this little blog.

Here are the kids at Cat and Meo’s new house, we went and spent most of the day there on Friday last. It was realy nice… cozy and chill. The kids like it there!

The living room and kitchen are pretty done up – I’ll do a tour of the house on camera when they are ready. It’s very nice and bright! I’m happy for them.


News November 5, 2011

Filed under: family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 3:09 am

Éowyn got a hair cut. A BIG ONE. It’s a bit crooked in the back but she doesn’t care. The fights over brushing it were getting out of hand, and I hated hearing her cry when I brushed out tangles… and when we’re rushed for time on school days I seriously can only handle one kid screaming at a time. It’s grow back, and though I was sad to see her princess curls go, I think this suits her so well. Oh my gosh, I did a double take when I went to pick her up at school today, though.

And, Wolf is 2 months old.

He’s outgrown the weight specifics for his bassinet. I’m not sure what to do about that right now… he’s still sleeping in it, he seems safe enough. I am not ready to move him into another room so far from me, and getting both kids to sleep while in the same room would be… a real fucking chore right now. I think I can move things around in our room to accommodate a crib – it might even be a better layout. I’ll have to run it by Stephen though. It might be a good segue, and we could keep him in with us through the inevitable sleep training that will come around 6 months. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea.

Anyways. We spent the day at my parent’s place! It was such a chill day full of laughs and love. I’m very happy and grateful. The babes are well loved and content. All is well.


15 months … October 19, 2011

Filed under: family,HURRAY DUDES,Uncategorized — whiskeyjac @ 10:19 pm

Since I last got to see my mother. And at 5 weeks, she finally met Wolf ❤

My family is whole again ❤

I didn't cry until she did. Just sayin.


October 11, 2011

Filed under: family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 7:24 pm

Fall time has never felt like the closing of the year to me, but the beginning. It’s the new year to me, and January 1st can go hang. It’s my favourite time and it’s a gorgeous time here in northern Alberta. I thought no where could be as beautiful as the Yukon, but B.C. charmed the socks off of me, especially our mountain home in Lillooet. I thought moving to the city, to no mountains, to red neck country would be a sad change. I do miss having the bush right close to us at times, and miss being able to take off hiking at the drop of hat as I did in Whitehorse. But, oh it’s a nice city. It’s small enough that it’s still got charming parts, lots of greenery, and a strong community. It’s big enough that you don’t feel suffocated… and don’t have to drive 2 hours to go shopping or see something new. With two kids and one income that is an undeniable bonus, lemme tell ya.

We went to Muskoseepie Park on Sunday to fly a kite. It was a beautiful day and everything smelled like sunshine and leaves.


September 22, 2011

Filed under: family,lovelovelove,NOMS — whiskeyjac @ 5:24 pm

Hanging out with coffee and mail (and facebook) (and backyardigans)

I have Boys, now. I can say things like – Oh the boys? They’re out… doing stuff. And, Hey don`t mess with me or I`ll send my boys after you. Yeah. Manners.

His big sister is in love. She`s not always in a great mood but she doesn`t take it out on him. Yet.

My sweet girl – she was proud to be under there with him, and was comforting him while he grumbled for milk.

this kid is a total glutton. He`s 10lbs as of yesterday. Solid little guy, already looking chubby.

Pre-School has been so great for her. She loves it, I love that she gets out to socialize without me having to socialize with her, and the teachers keep everyone in line at school – she`s never stressed out when she comes home. She`s bringing home little dances and songs that they`ve taught too, which is so cool – evidence that she has a life outside of us. I love the routine that it gives our week, and I like the walk to school and back home, the fall time is lovely here! She is very proud of walking on her own – no carriage – and of bringing her little bro with her. And me, I just love watching her whirl and skip around and tell me about what she`s going to do today, or what she`s done. The time alone with the baby is very nice, and I`m looking forward to the baby being able to be away from me for an hour or two so that I can take Eowyn out for girl time every now and then. She gets out with her dad on the weekends which is good for her, but I do miss our little walks and Tim Hortons and Library visits. Those will haveto resume soon 🙂

That`s all for now, I`ve already stolen too much time messing around on the laptop. I have exciting things to do! Dishes! Laundry! Nursing! – if the grumbling from the baby is any indication. 🙂


1 Week September 18, 2011

Filed under: family,Help — whiskeyjac @ 10:50 pm

Stephen’s back to work tomorrow – it’s been a sweet week. I’m sad and a little freaked out to be losing my calm cool partner but I know that I won’t be able to establish any kind of routine until he goes back to his. There’s been a lot of cuddling and love with the kiddo but there’s been a lot of tears and yelling (from both of us) too, and it’s wearing on us. Hoping it gets better with a small return to what is normal to her.



Éowyn and Wolf September 16, 2011

Filed under: family,Uncategorized — whiskeyjac @ 4:57 pm

Éowyn is a big sister now, and very very proud of it!
Her wee brother Wolf Corbin was born on September 9th, 2011 at 7:27 pm after only 4 hours of labour. THANK YOU, WOLF.
He weighed 9 lbs – 2 lbs more than his sister did – and despite an intensely painful labour, only 3 pushes, and a nurse attended delivery (Doc didn’t get there in time, Wolf was too fast) I had absolutely no tearing, and I’ve recovered beautifully. I’m so grateful – I felt human again the very next day.

Wolf is really healthy – very cuddly and hungry – a great nurser – and sweet. He hardly ever cries, sleeps in two hour increments at night, and watches everything when he is awake. It’s so much fun to watch and listen to a new baby again – we had forgotten some things, and it’s nice to compare and remember Éowyn at that age. That said, I am very glad I will never have to be a first time parent again. Things are chiller this time around.

We’ve had a great week with Stephen at home, and on Monday when he goes back to work it will be another transition but I’m sure we’ll all be just fine. In a month my parents and my brother will be here for good – and we’re not going to leave each other again. It’s too hard. I was so grateful to have my father here, and to see him connect one on one with Éowyn before she became an older sibling – he’s never really had that before as Nana was always there and even when she wasn’t I was. They were good together and even though she gave him attitude a lot she has been asking about him every day since he left. She knows you guys are coming “from the Yukon far far away!”

We had our visit from Public Health this morning – Wolf’s head is back to 37cms, no jaundice, heart sounds fine (he has a cardiac ultrasound booked for early October due to a “shadow” on his heart in the 35 week ultrasound. No one seems to think it’ll be anything other than a rogue shadow though), his cord has fallen off and looks fine, all is well. He was 9lbs at birth, 8 lbs 15 oz when we left the hospital and is now up to 9lbs 3oz – SO all that nursing is doing it’s job 🙂

Thanks for all the love 🙂