Hhhh…

The kid doesn’t like to eat breakfast right after getting up, nursing, and getting dressed. So I play with her a bit, then put a show on. SO I CAN READ MAIL AND DICK AROUND ON TWITTER AND DRINK MY COFFEE. And it works for both of us, so, I only feel a tiny bit guilty.

After her 20 minute show I make breakfast – we’ve been eating oatmeal with yogurt for a few weeks now – I’m so stoked that she likes to eat something so healthy in the mornings. The rest of the day it’s touch and go with what I have, what she’ll eat, and how much of it ends up on the floor. I try hard not to let her subsist on goldfish crackers, cheese, tomatoes, and pasta. Which. Really, when you think of it, isn’t so bad. Anyways, I like the oatmeal too, which is great. I might have a few extra pounds on me right but at least my cholesterol should be good. I like not having to think about breakfast.

What am I going to make for lunch today. We got a lot of chicken at Costco on the weekend – chicken cacciatore-sort-of? Whatever. We’ll see.

It’s riany out today. And cold and blowy. I guess we can still go out, if it stopped raining, but it’s not going to be as nice as a sunny day full of robins and blue jays like it was yesterday. Éowyn just got over a cold, I don’t really want to take her out during a wet day. Maybe that’s over protective but there you have it.

Sometimes I just don’t KNOW what to do. I wish we were in Whitehorse – at least we could go to a few different places all close. Or visit my parents to break up the day. There was a nice trail by the river, the Millenium Trail, that was beautiful and surrounded by trees – but totally easy to walk with a stroller. By now she could walk it by herself. There’s no where I want to go just to go and hang out here. Everything here… you go to DO something. If it were just me, or if the kid were older, we could go hiking for fun, but. it’s too mountainy to do that as things are now. Never mind that, there are a lot of bears here, and B.C. has cougars too. I ran into a bear once, when I was younger. I was lucky that it was half asleep or sick or old or whatever it was, because I was not in full control of my faculties at the time. That sobered me up about hiking though. Especially with a baby. Lots of times I was happy to have Stephen carry the kid around in the back pack during the summer – he’s stronger than I am and I know he’d be able to run faster than me with her on his back if a bear showed up. So. It’s something I’m concious about, anyways.

I guess I could start taking her to playgroup again but I really really don’t want to go after what happened last time. I don’t really want to talk to anyone here.

I’m bored! And her show is almost over so it’s time to go make breakfast. Then read a few books, do some laundry, think about lunch, have lunch, play a bit, put her to bed, read, do a bit of desultory cleaning, wait for Stephen to come home, have some food, drink some tea, watch some LOST, play with the kid, give her a bath, then it’s bed time.

So maybe I could do more to make life interesting. Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I should stop complaining about how fucking easy my goddamn life is. But Jesus sometimes I just want to go out and go somewhere different. And there is no different here.

~~~

Today is actually turning into a nice day, you know? I’m so glad. We stayed inside because it is very cold and wet – and sleeting. Éowyn did watch quite a bit of t.v. but you know… whatever. We play in between programs and she does little things while she is watching. Sometimes I’ll look over at her and she is dancing 🙂 I love that she is so engaged by these shows.

I got a lot of little cleaning jobs done, which helped my mood. It’s stupid that I get so lazy but that as soon as I’m actually cleaning stuff I feel so good? Eh. This kid though, she makes messes faster than I can keep up with her I swear it’s impossible to get ahead while she’s tagging along and helping me. I can’t imagine what it would be like in a BIG house. Makes me happy to be in a trailer when I think of a split level home with two bathrooms and carpet and stairs and a basement.

I’m really lucky with this kid. She’s a handful, just like most kids, but she’s so sweet. Being aroundher is never the cause of my blue spells – she actually helps them immensely. I can’t help but smile and laugh when she’s in her silly mode. Anyways, here are some pictures, I don’t have much to say today I guess. Just ramblings and if you’ve stuck with me this far I guess you deserve a reward.

I love the belly. I love that kids just let it all hang out.

I get hugs all the time and they are very sweet, but never mind that. Because for abosolutely real - she does this RIGHT after she does...

something like THIS. RIGHT AFTER. She KNOWS.

I can't wait till we bring Val home. Dead Serious.

I’ll have a video up later, of the cutest kid, and of Stephen who – can I just say? Looked so hot today. He’s got such a great smile. Just like his daughter, only with more teeth. Here we go: