Whiskey Jac

Just another WordPress.com weblog

February could use one less R. Februay. That sounds right. February 4, 2012

Filed under: family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 5:47 am

HEY SO WOW. I haven’t been updating this shit at all, and the kids aren’t going to be looking back through my damn facebook or emails for scrapbook stuff, so I REALLY SHOULD WRITE.

Allright lets get some visual aids happening.


We haven’t had much winter here which is pretty ok with me. It’s a drag getting a wee bobbin out when it’s -30 and these prairie winds can be brutal. There’s been a lot of slush and ice though, so even with the warmer temps we haven’t been going out much. OK AND ALSO I have no energy, and lots of chores, and the baby wants to eat all the time, and then he wants to sleep, and sometimes it just doesn’t happen! But it snowed a bit a few days ago and Éowyn and I went out into the yard and built a bit of a snow fort and a wee snow goblin – a Ukrainian snow goblin apparently – while Wolf talked to us from his chair on the stoep. She was pretty thrilled to be outside which made me feel a bit guilty but ultimately POWERFUL.


BUT Wolf is finally getting big and strong enough for his pack! We can’t go for big walks yet, but he’s good for a walk to the grocery store or a trip to the park. It’s been really great to get out and MOVE, I am still losing the baby weight but I feel pretty out of shape. He’s heavy and it’s a work out to haul him around – but not painful as a front carrier can be. I have some sleds for him – FIVE OF THEM after Christmas – but I’m always paranoid that he’ll like, shoot off them int he middle of the street or something… and besides, walking at my own pace is such a treat. I have taken him out on my own a few times and it’s been a boon to my mental health. He’s much happier up where he can see everything, anyways 🙂


Baba went to Quebec for awhile and during the month that he was gone we had a real cold snap and even Nana didn’t want to go out. So, now that he’s home, we’ve visited more often. It’s tiring for me because of the interruption to our routine, and the lack of anything chore like to do kinda makes me feel soporific. It’s very very good to see the kids and my parents together though. Éowyn gives them a lot of attitude, which stresses me out for a few reasons. Am I raising her to be polite, is she hurting their feelings, am I being to hard on her or not hard enough, CHRIST is she yelling again… but then I remind myself that she doesn’t do this with much of anyone else. She treats them the way she treats Stephen and me. So… it must mean she is comfortable with them. This place is like her second home and it does my heart so much good to see that. I would get majorly depressed when I was pregnant with Wolf, before I knew they were moving down here… thinking about everything they’d miss with the new baby and with Éowyn growing up. This is pretty amazing.

Wolf has been hitting some milestones, let me see if I can pull a few up off the top of my head. He can grab his toes like that, and he LOVES it 🙂 It makes diaper time easy… he can pass things from hand to hand and he is very interested in toys now. He has started on solid food – we were going to wait till week 20 but started in week 19 because he was waking all night long, having issues with nursing during the day (distracted, Éowyn went through that phase too, but SHE didn’t have a 3 year old whirling all over the place and exacerbating it) and he is SO interested in our food. We started him on boxed rice cereal which he loved and took like a champ – no gagging, spitting, confusion, aversion – and so far he’s tried avocado, banana, carrots, and peas. We finally broke down and got some damn jarred food because i couldn’t get a perfectly smooth consistency right and it seemed to bug him. No matter, this stage doesn’t last too long and I feed him fresh stuff when I can. He’ll be fine. It’s been fun 🙂 Oh, what else. He can roll from tummy to back, and back to tummy, though not regularily yet. He can almost sit unassisted, and loves to go play with his sister and someone to prop him up. He is exceedingly proud when you stand him up 🙂 I don’t know what all else is a milestone, but he’s hittin em all appropriately at any rate.


Éowyn has started to be interested in mothering. She gets to do a lot of little things with Wolf – they bathe together now, and she loves to wash him. She puts his penaten on him sometimes, and helps me throw his diapers away. She wipes him off when he spits up, hands him toys, sings to him and makes him laugh when he’s fussy, and generally dotes on him. She uses her toys to express other mothering – she climbs into the rocking chair and nurses her stuffies, puts them to bed, disciplines them, feeds them, changes their diapers and tells me about how she’s going to be a mama when she grows up. Right now that seems to be the best career she can think of. Which is gratifying, I guess 🙂 I remember thinking that. I’m pretty happy with it, so really, I am just totally stoked to see her doing this.

Her father takes great pains to tell her it won’t happen for SOME TIME.

Speaking of Stephen. He’s a love. I’m so glad he isn’t working the oilfields. Obviously we are spending a lot of time with the baby, and I know she is feeling insecure about that at times, so we’ve both been getting some one on one time with her, every day. She and her dad watched all the original star wars movies together and she LOVED them, which was fun for Stephen. She didn’t show as much interest in LOTR, but now she’s into watching him play Bayonetta on the xbox before bed. He usually puts her to bed while I nurse Wolf, and if she wakes later before we go to bed (or, more likely, just doesn’t go to sleep) I go in to her and lay down with her and talk and sing and cuddle. Sometimes he comes in to talk a little bit with us. It’s good. I think she still remembers and is slightly anxious about how he left us for those few months a year ago. She always asks where he is and when he is coming home again when she wakes up, and a while back S told me that she usually asks him if he’s coming home after work the next day. Lately I’ve heard him say goodnight, and as he closes her door, “I’ll see you after work tomorrow” ❤ I'm glad she gets lots of one on one time with him on the weekends – he's made a habit of taking her out sledding, or to his parent's house, and last weekend they both went to the pool. We took her out of preschool because it was tiring her out and all three of us were getting stressed out with a rushed morning routine 3 days a week. She was angry about being rushed and brushed and washed and fed and dressed. Wolf was mad about being bundled up twice, having to wait in a over heated class in all his outdoor clothes, not being allowed to nap when he wanted, being woken up to go back out, and having snow and wind blow into his tiny face. And me? I was tired as fuck in the mornings and got tired of yelling. Now they tend to sleep in until they want to get up, breakfast can take an hour, and things are much calmer. I thought it would be really hard to be cooped up with miss social butterfly here, but it's actually been pretty chill. It helps to have my folks around to take us out once in awhile, and now that Wolf is bigger we can go out once in awhile, too. The TV helps, absolutely, but I'm not going to beat myself up about that. I know how much we got out last summer when I was uncomfortable with the pregnancy – and I know we'll make up for it. Honestly I'm so looking forward to spring and the advent of toddler hood. This town has so much to do, and is so pretty, and the weather is so nice. AND I WON"T BE PREGNANT.

IT"S GONNA BE GREAT.


THese were taken at my folk’s place today. She showed up wearing her tutu – she had wanted to wear her Bawway clothes – black tights and her pink sparkly shirt – to their place and when we got there they had a surprise for her – a new tutu to keep at their place so she could dance for them. She promptly put the new skirt on and Wolf got to wear the old one 🙂 He was very happy! She’s been really into ballet for a bit and we finally had an epiphany – DUDE THE YOUTUBES HAS BAWWAY.
Observe.

Since she started watching things like Swan Lake and The Nutcracker I’ve seen a real change in her dancing. She’s imitating them! It’s super fucking cute, and it reminds me of how much I used to love to dance. She just loves jumping and flailing and it’s so cool to see that she’s emoting while she does it, not just going crazy with hyperactivity. There are dance classes here… maybe one day 🙂 For now, I just really want to find videos and music to play downstairs for her, where there is lots of room. Tchaikovsky is an old favourite, and I haven’t listened to his music is a very long time, not since I was a kid and listening to the Nutcracker at Christmastime.

I’m getting pretty tired… Stephen is out at a movie with his brother David and it’s my bedtime. Here are a few more photos for now, and I’m signing out.
Things are good. We’re all together, we are warm, healthy, well fed, have tons of books and toys, and while we yell lots, I’m pretty sure she laugh more.


 

Chubs January 26, 2012

Filed under: lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 5:59 pm

<a href="“>Wolf didn’t want to nap yesterday, so I propped him up and folded laundry in between nomming his delicious baby rolls and smelling his milky baby breath. I avoided his phenominally stinky ears.

 

News November 5, 2011

Filed under: family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 3:09 am



Éowyn got a hair cut. A BIG ONE. It’s a bit crooked in the back but she doesn’t care. The fights over brushing it were getting out of hand, and I hated hearing her cry when I brushed out tangles… and when we’re rushed for time on school days I seriously can only handle one kid screaming at a time. It’s grow back, and though I was sad to see her princess curls go, I think this suits her so well. Oh my gosh, I did a double take when I went to pick her up at school today, though.


And, Wolf is 2 months old.

He’s outgrown the weight specifics for his bassinet. I’m not sure what to do about that right now… he’s still sleeping in it, he seems safe enough. I am not ready to move him into another room so far from me, and getting both kids to sleep while in the same room would be… a real fucking chore right now. I think I can move things around in our room to accommodate a crib – it might even be a better layout. I’ll have to run it by Stephen though. It might be a good segue, and we could keep him in with us through the inevitable sleep training that will come around 6 months. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea.

Anyways. We spent the day at my parent’s place! It was such a chill day full of laughs and love. I’m very happy and grateful. The babes are well loved and content. All is well.

 

Booful November 4, 2011

Filed under: lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 1:08 pm

I’m getting dressed while she is on the potty singing about pee and telling me how her day is going to go. All of a sudden a tiny soft wee hand starts rubbing my stomach. I smile at her, thinking she’s going to ask me if I have another baby in there and she says
“Mama, your belly! It’s so beautiful!”

She means my stretch marks.
What a love.

 

October 11, 2011

Filed under: family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 7:24 pm

Fall time has never felt like the closing of the year to me, but the beginning. It’s the new year to me, and January 1st can go hang. It’s my favourite time and it’s a gorgeous time here in northern Alberta. I thought no where could be as beautiful as the Yukon, but B.C. charmed the socks off of me, especially our mountain home in Lillooet. I thought moving to the city, to no mountains, to red neck country would be a sad change. I do miss having the bush right close to us at times, and miss being able to take off hiking at the drop of hat as I did in Whitehorse. But, oh it’s a nice city. It’s small enough that it’s still got charming parts, lots of greenery, and a strong community. It’s big enough that you don’t feel suffocated… and don’t have to drive 2 hours to go shopping or see something new. With two kids and one income that is an undeniable bonus, lemme tell ya.

We went to Muskoseepie Park on Sunday to fly a kite. It was a beautiful day and everything smelled like sunshine and leaves.





 

September 22, 2011

Filed under: family,lovelovelove,NOMS — whiskeyjac @ 5:24 pm


Hanging out with coffee and mail (and facebook) (and backyardigans)


I have Boys, now. I can say things like – Oh the boys? They’re out… doing stuff. And, Hey don`t mess with me or I`ll send my boys after you. Yeah. Manners.


His big sister is in love. She`s not always in a great mood but she doesn`t take it out on him. Yet.

My sweet girl – she was proud to be under there with him, and was comforting him while he grumbled for milk.

MOAR MILK
this kid is a total glutton. He`s 10lbs as of yesterday. Solid little guy, already looking chubby.


Pre-School has been so great for her. She loves it, I love that she gets out to socialize without me having to socialize with her, and the teachers keep everyone in line at school – she`s never stressed out when she comes home. She`s bringing home little dances and songs that they`ve taught too, which is so cool – evidence that she has a life outside of us. I love the routine that it gives our week, and I like the walk to school and back home, the fall time is lovely here! She is very proud of walking on her own – no carriage – and of bringing her little bro with her. And me, I just love watching her whirl and skip around and tell me about what she`s going to do today, or what she`s done. The time alone with the baby is very nice, and I`m looking forward to the baby being able to be away from me for an hour or two so that I can take Eowyn out for girl time every now and then. She gets out with her dad on the weekends which is good for her, but I do miss our little walks and Tim Hortons and Library visits. Those will haveto resume soon 🙂

That`s all for now, I`ve already stolen too much time messing around on the laptop. I have exciting things to do! Dishes! Laundry! Nursing! – if the grumbling from the baby is any indication. 🙂

 

STOP IT IS DANCING TIME NOW OK August 25, 2011

Filed under: baby2,family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 1:48 pm




Fin

~~~

38 weeks, 4 days
Prenatal today.

~~~

3 cms dilated, blood pressure was a little low due to mild dehydration, doctor swept my membranes. I LIKE HIM A LOT RIGHT NOW.
He warned me that it could still be a few days – I feel crampy but nothing regular and that is normal after a sweep.
I’m glad to know that he’s ok with helping things along at this point. I’m pretty uncomfortable.
3cms was how I presented at the hospital at 11:00 at night with Éowyn. At 2:37am we had a baby 🙂 It’s funny to think that. I hope it means things go quickly and smoothly this time around.
Anyways, going to go tidy up a bit in case we have to have Uncle David over. My father should be here on Saturday… he might still make it for the birth, to be with his granddaughter, but just in case I want the house to be ready for me to leave it… and hopefully come back to it still relatively clean. I’m so glad to know Meo is coming though, what a relief to both me and Stephen. It will make it easier for me to rest a bit, knowing that the kiddo is happy and engaged with her Baba instead of exhausting her dad and watching shows.

Oooof, kicking baby. Gotta go.

 

Car Seat August 23, 2011

Filed under: baby2,family,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 3:08 am

A week or two ago I got the fabric from the infant car seat all washed up – but forgot to take pictures of how the damn straps were configured. We’d never really put them together – at least I hadn’t, I’m a dunce w stuff like that – and it took Stephen a few tries to get it right while he was putting it together tonight. He kept shaking his head and saying that it would be much too small on the smallest setting… but that makes us think it’ll probably be just big enough. It’s hard to remember just how little they were. I remember wondering, when people said that when they saw MY new baby, how anyone could ever forget a thing like that, but oh. Well, you just do. Too much going on to hold on to stuff like that, just like there is no time after baby is born to miss your big belly. It gave me a real turn when I got out the package of newborn diapers and started making up a diaper station – and again, when I started folding clothes for him. I remember that Éowyn was an average size – 7.5 lbs at birth – but she took at least 3 weeks to fit into most newborn clothing properly. Everything was huge even if it had a 0-3 sizing on it. Even now, KNOWING that, it’s still hard to believe.

I got to thinking I should dig up some old photos of Éowyn to remind us, and to compare, soon. We had a computer crash without having saved our stuff in late 2008 – but we have various pictures stashed around the web, here are the first ones we ever took, stolen from Stephen’s Picasa files.


When my water broke, they saw that there was meconium in it – so they had a suction station all set up for her. The woman on the right is my doctor – Saleena Djearam, and I miss her a lot. She was incredibly warm and calm and soothing.


I’m hoping Stephen is able to get another first weigh in shot. This… really just encompasses the whole birth thing to me, the squalling, the fresh skin… the horror and gratitude that that head actually made it out…


First picture of baby with her dad.


My mother was with me. The whole birth went by so quickly and it was so intense that I don’t remember a lot of it – but I remember like there is a snapshot inside my head, the look in her eyes when she told me the baby was crowning. Her sparkly blue eyes. Ha. She wouldn’t even hold Éowyn until she’d helped me shower and change. She said she had to take care of HER baby first.
Goddamn, I’m sorry that she can’t be here for Wolf.


That little baby calls the dog Indy-Nana now. Oh my goodness. ❤


2 hours after she was born.


Morning


Hello again, to Nana


Beautiful day, August 15th


She was still all squished and squishy. I remember being amazed at watching her little underwater movements – thinking that that was what I’d been feeling all those months. And only a few hours before. What a trip.


Stephen looks very young here. We were talking about it yesterday and I figured yep, he was 29 when she was born. Old man. He was about the age my parents were when they had me, and I was 22, round about the age his parents were when he was born.


First bath – she had this warbling cry that she lost after about 3 days. We never got it on video, but I do remember.



And this is why I went looking for the pictures – look at those buckles. She was so small.


I remember being amazed at how flat my belly was and at how blissed out I was. But here I am with the dark circles, looking 6 months pregnant 🙂 Ha.


❤ Very proud. She was so wanted. And still is. Most days.


Yeah I think we’ll be better about CLOTHING THIS ONE. Poor cold baby, I was so freaked out about over heating her *YOU WILL DAMAGE HER KIDNEYS!* that it took the doctor telling us that she needed MORE clothes, more blankets than we’d been giving her. Not a good feeling, that. Also, I don’t fucking read those shitty parenting sites anymore.


We had a whole month off work to just laze around and do this. So, so lucky. I really can’t wait to see him with a baby again.


Heh. We still have that little 15$ change pad from Canadian Tire. Boy, that thing has seen a lot of… use. 🙂 It’s waiting by the baby bed in our room, with all those impossibly tiny – and fragrant! seriously, don’t baby diapers just smell *so good*!? – diapers and clothes.

And it’s 9pm. I’ve been hogging the computer while Stephen reads here beside me. Baby is fighting inside me, it’s time for bed. 4 days until my father gets here so stay for the birth and the baby, and then… I AM GETTING OUT THE PEPPER AND THE CATCHER’S MITT.

 

BIRFDAY!!! August 16, 2011

Filed under: baby2,Cool Dudes,family,HURRAY DUDES,lovelovelove,NOMS,NOT MARTHA — whiskeyjac @ 2:01 pm

So, wow! We had a real birthday party for Éowyn this year, and itwasrad. What she asked for was balloons, and owl cake, her cousins, and a scooter.
I feel so privileged to be able to do this for my kid. It was a lot of fun to watch her, and make her a special day, and oh, this age is great. It’s trying, but allllll the ages are. It’s really cool to see her becoming herself and deciding things and understanding special days.
The best present we ever had was that my father made it down to visit. It was a short visit, but we got a lot of playtime and talking and visiting in. I feel like we did A LOT in the afternoon, two nights, day and morning that he was here. There was definately a lot of talking and, to Éowyn’s dismay a lot of it was in french. Ha. 🙂 She gives me hell when I try to teach it to her, or just start speaking to her in french – she’s even told folks on the playground to “STOP FRENCH!” when she hears it. I remember a lot of bilingual kids doing that to the second language spoken at home – it’s harder for them to understand so yeah, it’s not unreasonable. It was *great* to speak it again, I find that it comes a lot easier the longer I spend around Meo. It will help me and the kids a lot – and I could tell that Stephen understood a lot of what we were saying, too. He’s not too shabby with his french but he doesn’t really believe me when I tell him that – he’s like my mom. It’s not easy though, even I get shy about speaking around some kinds of people.

All the love ❤

Anyways, we had a ton of fun over the weekend, I feel really lucky and the best part of all is that – I made my deadline. I made it to her birthday, it was all about her, we impressed the hell out of her and made her very very happy, and NOW I AM DONE. It’s time for baby. I’ve had 3 nights where the false labour got me thinking THIS IS IT. The most recent was last night with some wicked lower back pain – the kind I like to treat with pamprin and a strong Jack’s and Coke. It wasn’t regular interval stuff, just escalating pain and it kept up all night. Still there. Well, the full moon worked on Éowyn, maybe we will be lucky this time, too. My father is back on the 28th or so to stay for a week or two and help and visit, but if I don’t make it that long, then Stephen’s brother David will be coming to keep Éowyn over night, or whenever we need to be at the hospital together. I’m really very grateful for that, especially because it means she can stay in her own home and have that bit of normalcy during a Big Change. Having David here will be mostly a treat to her – I expect some tears at night if she wakes up and I’m not there but it won’t hurt her, and she knows him pretty well so it won’t be scary. He’s great with her and I’ve got every confidence in him. It’s nice to know I won’t be worrying about her in the back of my mind the whole time I’m gone.

I hear the bumble butt stirring so I better get going. I think I’ll try and get us to the library today – we have overdue books! That hasn’t happened yet, but it’s been harder to get around the last while. Better get going and find some new stuff for her. ❤ She'll like to see all her books again.

 

Little Things August 10, 2011

Filed under: baby2,HURRAY DUDES,lovelovelove — whiskeyjac @ 10:36 pm

I’m putting the baby’s stuff in order again. Making a little diapering shelf and a bookshelf full of clothing and stuff like that in our room.
I am *loving* the receiving blankets that I have been gifted. That is one of the best best best gifts you can give a new baby, you can use them for so much. Lining diaper changing pads (we just use the floor and our beds with a portable liner pad) to soak up assplosions and keep it warm for baby, spit up cloths, impromptu fluid mop ups, bath mats, play blankets later on… all that on top of swaddling.
We got so many hand me down items with Éowyn – perfect for our budget but oh my gosh some of them were butt. ugly. That sounds like a piddly concern and yeah ok, in the grand scheme of things it IS – but when you are stuck nursing a baby for hours at a time, and you are too tired to read or do anything but look out the window or at the baby… it’s just. IT USED TO BREAK MY MIND ok, the ugly blankets. I hated them. They almost started to seem… malevolent sometimes. Dude ok, I know that sounds ridiculous and over the top? But, TRUE. I just. I don’t handle sleep deprivation so well. I get weird. I am the first, second, third, AND fourth to admit that I will never make a Navy Seal.

I felt so liberated when I finally donated them a few weeks ago. And oh, the soft blues and greens, argyles and polka dots, owls and scottish terriers and dinosaurs… no hand me down shit stains… wow.

Thank you all for the lovely gifts, I appreciate them so much. The littlest things make me so happy and grateful ❤