So today… was good. In the morning. Afternoon sucked. The high point was talking to my dad and trying to be calm and reasonable and crying! Crying in front of my dad which is the surest fucking way to freak him out and oh my fucking god, am I serious with this bullshit.
Man, sometimes I just… suck. You know? I know it. I wish I could erase outbursts like that the way I can erase blog posts. Life would be a lot less embarrassing for me and stressful for my family if I could erase and re-write.
I got to snuggle with kiddo a lot today. I try to do that. I feel like I am ignoring her, but I’m not sure if that’s because my mind is elsewhere so often, or if it even matters to her if I am. She seems ok. I don’t know. It’s been very nice with my father here, and Stephen home for the weekend – at least if I am ignoring her, someone else is with her. Not Sesame Street or Dora.