29 of August and I’m 39 weeks. Thisi s the most pregnant I’ve ever been, and I don’t want to be.
But that is nothing new. So.
My father is here, it’s been really great. He’s such a help, Éowyn loves him to pieces and oh my gosh she gets to go out for walks at night. I simply fucking can’t with the walking anymore. Making breakfast breaks me. It’s fucking ridiculous and it was boring her to tears and tantrums. Now she has a buddy to play with and talk to. She’s doing well.
My father thinks he’s got a truck ready for him to buy, he got out with the realtor today – didn’t have time to show me the houses that he looked at because I had to go upstairs and clean the results of a fucking poop painting session that my THREE YEAR OLD daughter had in her room – and now he’s sleeping beside me while I post this in the guest room. He sounded pretty happy and tired – though as he put it, he’s not tired but hyper. Not that there is much of a difference. I think he’s able to buy himself a new (to him) truck which is great, his damn 22 year old Chevy is at the end of the line and I’ll be glad to know he is going back up northi n a reliable vehicle. One that isn’t held together by duct tape, spray paint, and dirt.
As for the whole pooping thing, hhh. I am pretty disappointed that she also ripped up some library books – and got massive amounts of fecal matter and urine on them to boot – not because I have to pay for them but because WHY ÉOWYN. WHY. When you know better, when you’ve been told, when I was right next door and heard you singing softly and happily and would have come right in to get you had you but asked me – WHY DID YOU SHIT. ON THE LIBRARY BOOKS.
I spent some time freaking out a bit, thinking that I was awful not paying enough attn to her, that she was scared to tell me she was awake because she’d get in trouble (SHE WOULD but thing is, she also knows that if she TELLS me that she needs to go to the bathroom she is FINE. I KNOW she knows this because she uses it to get up at night without getting in trouble. She LIES because she knows she can get a free pee pass) if she was messing around instead of napping. Is my kid scared of me? Is she developing delinquent behaviours because I don’t give her enough time and attention and love and play?
I dunno. I think she might just be an asshole. Which. You know. She comes by honestly.
I wasn’t mad at her until I saw the books. I had taken her into the bath, gotten her scrubbed off and she was sitting in a big thing full of bubbles and toys… and then I went back into the room to strip her bed. And saw. Holy fuck. I yelled. I made her cry. I don’t feel a bit guilty about that either – if I DON”T jesus, she just… it’s nothing to her. So yeah I made her cry. And then I stopped. Gave her a hug and a kiss after she got out, tried to talk to her about it… hhh. Tomorrow I’m going to take her to the library with Meo and return all the books – pay for the ones she ruined, and I just hope they don’t cost way over the retail price like say… rental dvd’s do – and if the librarian is amenable to it, I’m going to ask them to tell her she is not allowed to take any more out for awhile. I don’t know how much of an impact it’ll make, but she will have to tell them what she did – and I’ll talk to whoever it is at the desk first to make sure they don’t just coddle her. That’s pretty much all I can think to do. And. *shrug* No more library books for awhile. That will take a few days to sink in, but she won’t be happy about it when it does.
Mmph. I should go.