Before we went to our prenatal visit – she told me “You wooka Lady Doctor, mama! Lady Doctor shirt!” Our doc never wears white shirts, but she got the idea from somewhere 🙂 We left early at 8:40 and had a lovely walk. There was frost last night but halfway to the office the sun came out from behind the mountains and the birds started singing louder and everything warmed right up. I love that about this place. It’s 20 degrees out right now. In March. I’m savouring that while I can.
Half way there I let her out of the carriage to walk – she’s getting better at it, but we do have issues with holding hands across the street somedays – and *every* time she gets out to walk, I know there will be at the very least a small tantrum when I put her back in. She’s usually great and charming and sweet and funny for the first three quarters of her time walking but that last bit is moody, disrespectful, disobedient… and I’m not giving her many chances lately. She really does have to learn, because dude I am not going to wrestle with her while I have a baby attached to me, and we can’t afford a double stroller.
Anyways, she was a complete doll walking to the office, and I dearly love those time with her when we’re having fun and glad to be in each other’s company. It makes the stressors worth it, for both of us.
She gets stickers from Angel, the receptionist at the office – she goes right back into the booth now and gets to choose them. She really likes that, and Angel is fine with it – she invited her – but I sort of wish she wouldn’t. Éowyn seems to think the world sort of… belongs to her. And I’m leery of feeding that since it’s SO NOT EASY to disabuse her of that notion. Anyways, they’re all super nice to her here, and Éowyn loves coming to see the doctor now that the one we see is a woman and not threatening to her. She was very excited to see the doc today – and talks about her almost everyday even when we go weeks without seeing her. I had to shepherd her back into the waiting room a few times coz she got bored and kept saying “OK MAMA! I go see a Lady Doctor now, ok? Bye!” and taking off into the back like she was going to work. ❤
The first picture is her getting settled and telling me “Ok, a where the Lady Doctor now, I want talk a her”. The second is after I told her we had to wait. Seriously. What I live with. I cry myself to sleep.
After hearing the heart beat and watching the doc look at my ears and mouth and listen to my chest etc – we were left alone for a few minutes while paper work was brought in – Éowyn had to try the bed out. Here she was trying to get UNDER the paper covering so she could “Really needa go to sweep Mama, I really tired ok?”
After our visit we got some decaff coffee for me, and a blueberry muffin for her and went to playgroup. Such good turn out lately, and she loves it. They recently got some more toys that allow the kids to be more physical and she loooooves them. Blocks for climbing on, ride about toys, and this seesaw which is just the bees knees. I hope we can sign her up for something which would give her an outlet for this love of movement – soccer, gymnastics, dance I would love to be able to try them all and see which she likes best.
She is starting to notice babies more – this little big guy is 6 months and she’s been getting on the floor to see what being a baby feels like; even imitating his sounds and playing with the little baby toys. ❤ Sweetheart.
We had a huge tantrum not long after leaving playgroup because she wouldnotlisten on our walk – and I put her in her carriage the very first time we disagreed. She was furious and we weren’t even able to check the mail. By the time we got to the grocery store she had calmed down so I was able to go buy some veggies and fruit, and I let her out to walk up the last hill home. She was lovely! When we got to the top we saw our landlord’s dog chasing cars so we called her over and shepherded her back to her home. Éowyn was great on the walk, listened, kept a good pace – but was sad and mad when the dog went in the house. I promised her a show – she hadn’t had one yet today – while I made lunch and that was ok with her, she got back without tearing anyone to shreds.
I made colcannon with kale, leeks, and fish. She loved it! A great way to get her to eat kale, FINALLY.
She’s napping now, after having a bath, and I guess I should use this opportunity to drink some caffeinated tea – oooh, big deal for me and I hope this doesn’t backfire – and then clean the kitchen. It’s GORGEOUS out. I’ve bought flower seeds to make the place look pretty for buyers – or new owners HOPE HOPE HOPE – and I can’t wait to plant them. I’m holding myself back because that frost last night was unexpected – but I think I’ll try to get her to work in the yard w me a bit this afternoon, instead of watching t.v. – I really want to try limiting our screen time. Says the hypocrite who just spent an hour reading and blogging online.
The prenatal appt went well, and I should catalogue the visits the way I did with Éowyn’s just to be able to go back and look at them side by side. So.
Feb 10th – weight: 153 lbs
heart: 170 bpm
March 17th – weight: 157.5 lbs
heart: 155 bpm
She didn’t measure the fundal height. I have to go back for the second part of the maternal serum screening next week – 15 weeks already, holy smokes – and they’ll check my thyroid as well, because she felt that it was enlarged. Not sure what that means, but she didn’t seem concerned, just wanted it checked.
I talked to her about having taken the meds – according to my blog I took the first dose of Celexa last year today, actually – and she was completely unconcerned. I wasn’t really worried either, but they really freaked me out when they told me about the side effects of pregnancy while taking these drugs. She had a different attitude which put me at ease and… really reaffirms my conviction that the NEXT time I talk to someone about mood stabalizers, I need to choose a good doctor. I don’t think buddy had enough training or information to really know what I needed. I’m not mad or bitchy about it – the guy wasn’t a psychologist or psychiatrist. That’s who I’ll go to next time I guess. For now, I… just have to try to stay calm and ok on my own. Mostly I’m succeeding, I think. Mostly. Most days.
I hope we can move soon. I’m getting antsy and nervous and I’m enjoying my daughter of course – she’s high strung sometimes and that’s stressful for both of us but she’s a love and is learning so much everyday and she constantly surprises me and delights me with the leaps she’s making. I’m sad that her dad isn’t here to see them, though. I really want to get moved so I can set her up and get her used to everything before her world is upturned and she’s no longer an only child.
This morning she woke up – we slept together, which… I’m not entirely happy about – and stayed in bed to talk with me a bit before running out demanding breakfast and ball and show. She asked for nursies which I gave her because I was dead tired still and after wards we cuddled and talked a bit and she came up with
“Mama, I miss a Dada.” Hug. “I know baby, I do too… and Daddy misses us both very very much. He loves you lots and he wants to see you again very soon.” “Mama where IS he? Where Éowyn’s Dada?” “He’s at gramma’s house, baby – ” and very quietly she says, into my chest “Working.” “Yes, he’s working hard every day so we can go live with him again.” She thought about that for a few minutes, then wiped her nose on me and sat up with her arms crossed over her chest and said “Mama. I DON”T WIKE DADA. HMPF.” “Éowyn, I know you love Daddy. He loves you too, everyday he tells me to give you a big hug and a big kiss – ” She lunged at me and hugged me and kissed me and lay back down and closed her eyes. Then, very quietly she said “I wuv a Daddy. Daddy a gramma’s house a worka hard.”
She thinks about you, babe. And she likes you, I promise. Me, too. ❤