Before I had my baby, I always sort of thought I’d be co-sleeping with her. Somewhere along the line though, I started… not liking the idea. I’m not sure why, though I think I could have told you back then. I worried about suffocating her (my own insecurity, not that I think proper co-sleeping will do that) maybe I just started thinking that I’d like my space and that Stephen would, too. So we got her a tiny bassinet and she slept in it with no problem until she was 3 months old, and too big for it. She made the transition to her crib with no fuss. We were really lucky with her all in all – there were lots of tired nights with all the nursing and the ass plosions and the unexplained baby sads – and when she was about 6,7,8 months old we had some hard times with night time waking until we implemented the Ferber method – which worked like a *charm* for her, and no she’s not *damaged* – but all in all she’s been a good sleeper – she naps, she sleeps through the night, when she wakes she cvan put herself back to sleep and if she can’t I can go in and touch her face and pull her blankets up and she’s ok.
Since we never tried much, she never wanted to come into our bed. She slept w me a few times when she was an infant and had woken up for a 6am feed – I’d bring her into bed after Stephen got up and we’d snooze for an hour or two. She slept with the both of us only once – when she was about 5 months old and had a cold. Stephen still talks about how sweet it was to watch her sleep, and to wake up next to her. A few times I’ve wished that we could snuggle sometimes, to help when she woke and wouldn’t go back to sleep or just to cuddle her when she was too busy during the day to stop and snuggle. But no, she liked sleeping alone.
We slept together lots at her grandparent’s house. The t.v. was loud and the dogs were, too – she had nightmares the first few nights and was afraid to go to sleep alone, so I bunked with her. It got better, but she still asked for me to lie down with her while she went to sleep, which I enjoyed – it was hard to make myself get up. Sleeping with her is very cozy and warm and sweet – she’s a cuddle bug and it’s really nice to feel close to her like that and to smell her baby smell and hear her breathing and feel her little head butt under my chin or into my solar plexus, to feel her knees jabbing me in the kidneys, to be inexorably pushed to the side of the bed by someone who is so much tinier but so much more stubborn than me… yeah. Sleeping with her is sweet but not restful, at least not for me.
So even though I like bringing her into my bed when she wakes at 5am, and even though I don’t like sleeping alone again – it’ll stay a treat. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts, and hope that as she gets older she’ll be a less combative bed partner. I really like being able to snuggle her like this once in a while, it’s a nice change from NEVER being able to.