Well, I’ve mentioned it on twitter, I’ve mentioned it on Facebook. I’m pretty wired, huh? Sometimes too wired. ANYWAYS. I don’t think anyone reads me here that doesn’t read me at those spots but this is my online journal and I should update it if for that reason only. Sometimes I think I should stop using the other two methods of sharing online and focus on this blog, so that it’s more like a scrap book, more complete, just MORE for me and for my kids to look back on.
Yep. Kids. 🙂
I’m about 7 weeks pregnant now. This pregnancy was totally unplanned – I had a copper T IUD installed (heh) 6 weeks after Éowyn was born. And boom, just like that, I never thought about birth control again. The strings were always there, I never had weird side effects, and they’re supposed to be 99% effective. WELL.
Stephen and I have been waiting for awhile to decide on planning another kid. Last year round about October we decided to wait until December that year to decide. When December came around and we realized that his job was talking about layoffs, and that we weren’t completely happy here in this beautiful but small town we decided to see where we were in March, around his birthday. About a month ago he was applying for a job with Halliburton and had another option that came through his mother’s employer regarding a programming position in Grande Prairie. Either of those would require a move to Alberta, and if neither panned out we knew we wanted to move and would have kept looking for a job somewhere else – the layoff talk that spooked us the first winter had come up again in the fall time and we knew that we couldn’t stick around with so few job options in town to back us up should anything affect his position. We had a very grown up and rational discussion about it – well, HE did, I tried – and decided that we’d have to put off another child for another year or more. And that was that.
Two weeks later on the same day he accepted the position of Junior Programmer with Pipepro in Grande Prairie, I took a pregnancy test with almost 100% certainty that it would read negative – and disappointment and self ridicule turned into a nasty case of the shakes when that one minus symbol resolved itself into a plus sign. That… was one hell of an adrenaline rush. I got in to see a doc half an hour later, the IUD was removed and an ultrasound scheduled for 3 days later in Kamloops.
That appointment sucked. I was freaked out by the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy – the doc seemed pretty unconcerned but the longer I went just thinking about it, the more I was certain that something would be wrong that there was no way we could ever be this lucky all at once, NO WAY. I’d go for a few hours unthinkingly and then I would touch on it and bloop my stomach would flip and sink. I was scared about having to go through an abortion in a huge hospital full of people I didn’t know, when Stephen was so close to leaving, when I wanted another baby *so much* when I so wanted to be happy, for Stephen to be happy, for our families to be glad. So we went to the ultrasound appt and the technician was very nice, very informative… but we saw nothing.
After that I got in to see a doctor who is well known in town for her OB work – and she was great. Everyone I’ve talked to or heard from regarding her – whether they liked her personally or not – told me she knew her stuff and didn’t let things drop. She started a bunch of blood tests to see how the hormones were looking, and when she found that they were rising in the proper way but were still low, she got another round done and scheduled an ultrasound for me.
This doesn’t sound dramatic in the slightest with the retelling! But I was pretty nervous and downright scared sometimes, especially because Stephen’s departure date was creeping up on us. Two days after he left, I got the ultrasound done and…
It’s tiny (2.5mm), we need to have another look (on Monday), but it’s in the right place.
So that’s the news. Stephen’s happy in his new job – he’s staying with his folks while he works, looks for courses to supplement his training and self education, tries to get his ID and info all switched Alberta recognized, tries to sell the jeep, and looks for likely homes for us. Éowyn and I have been staying in Lillooet doing our thing, and waiting. We’ve both had to adjust to being without Stephen and it hasn’t been easy for either of us but we’re getting better and I’ll write about that some other time, hopefully from a happier and calmer and less tantrumy perspective, ha. I’ve been completely bowled over by how many people are offering help and support to us, especially from my friend S – a mother I met at the playgroup, who has a real sweetheart of a son that Éowyn just loves. I’m feeling really, really lucky and grateful.
Ok. There it is, I’m no writer and it’s no surprise to the 4 peeps who read this – but it’s here for posterity’s sake 🙂 Thanks for all the love and support, you guys.