Whiskey Jac

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FAILBREAD September 9, 2010

Filed under: NOMS,NOT MARTHA — whiskeyjac @ 2:54 pm

About 2 years ago, jesus, maybe more. Time gets weird when you have a kid, doesn’t it? Anyways, bout 2 years ago I decided to start making my own bread instead of buying it from the store because the GOOD bread is like 3-5 bucks a loaf. Doesn’t that just make you mad? A 12 foot loaf of White Wonderbread FLUFF costs two bucks and a loaf of bread half the size with whole grains, nuts, and SUBSTANCE costs 4 bucks. Just like the damn juice aisle! A litre of cranberry juice is moer than twice the amount of a bottle of pop. They don’t make it easy for poor people to choose healthily do they.

BITTER.

WHAT

WAS I TALKING ABOUT.

Oh yeah I was gonna tell you about this loaf of bread I made. I stopped making bread for a while! Or at least, stopped making enough that we could consume home made wheat products exclusively. But I’ve started again, mostly using the white flour we had BUT! I found some whole wheat last night – enough for two loaves to which I added an assortment of oats and nuts.
It’s been awhile since I made WW bread. The texture is so very different. And I don’t know if it’s coz I replaced the honey with sugar, or if I put in too many nuts, or if I need a cup of white flour in there, or if I let it rise too long… it’s just so crumbly. I don’t like it. Worse – the baby doesn’t like it. I tried to put marmite on her toast today – and she SAW me trying to put marmite on her toast. And she got excited, and so when I gave her her toast – with none of that savoury gooey looks-like-it-might-maybe-have-been-the-stuff-that-killed-Tasha-Yar-which-honestly-whoah-really-made-me-cry – well it made her sad. It made her rage. It made her look at me like I’d tried to wipe her ass with a hot poker.

When you fail at bread, you fail at motherhood. JUST LIKE IN THE OLDEN DAYS.

This is why making bread makes me feel just oh so rustic!

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