Éowyn climbed out of her crib once – Stephen and I were grilling outside and she had a meltdown so I put her in her crib to calm down. She didn’t. I went back in five minutes later and she was knocking on the door politely with no trace of the hooligan anger I put her in there for. Walked out of the room like it was nothing. We kept her in the crib because she never ever seemed inclined to do it again.
While I was at my parents place about a week ago, she climbed out of her playpen after I’d put her down in the room we were sharing. The room wasn’t baby proofed – she didn’t hurt herself but she could have. When I got home I let her sleep in her crib to get all used to things again but about 2 days after we got home, I asked Stephen to change it to it’s day bed mode. I was worried that it’d take a week of up and down all nighters but other than having to go in and nurse her two or three times as she gets up after I put her down? it’s been totally fine. She’s always gone down for naps without issues, this morning I heard her wake at 5:00 and then put herself back to sleep (which she’s been able to do for over a year, yes, but now that she can get OUT of bed when she wakes she’s less likely to go back down), and tonight I put her to bed while she was awake and she didn’t cry or get up or need more nursies.
… how lucky am I?
It’s funny, I thought it would feel like such a big milestone – seeing my baby in a bed. It’s totally not, though, and I’m proud of her and relieved that she’s ok with it all – because hey all y’all ladies saying that folks who let kids cry are abusive and lazy? You can suck. my. dick. The kid is secure and trusting and independent, and she is all those things because I figured out what was right for her. Drives me nuts that there is the faction of people who are so quick to cry parental persecution and ignorant snobbery when someone criticizes co-sleeping (which I wouldn’t do! seriously, if that works – GREAT. I used to sleep with my mother and loved it – I was a co-sleepin pro all the way till I was 10. I’d actually like it if my kid would sleep with me once in a while (she won’t)) and then turns around and talks about cribs being these great big cages and condemn ALL crying it out methods as child abuse. I know people who co-sleep with their kids – some planned it, some didn’t, but all are happy with the situation, and their kids are awesome. I’ve found that most people – most parents – understand that kids are all different and boy, having a kid and interacting with the world as a parent has changed my knee jerk assume-everyone-is-an-asshole-in-waiting outlook on life. It really has. BUT not everyone is like that, and it pains me to see that there are folks writing books and talkin on the net making parents feel inadequate, making them second and third guess their instincts, constantly making them feel less-than. It’s great that there is so much support for parents out there – especially for folks like me who have a hard time socializing and going to groups and just talking to people in general and who consequently have few friends and even fewer parents to shoot the shit with. It can be life saving – and I’m not saying that flippantly. Conversely – shit. You can do a lot of damage to a tired, overwhelmed, under supported mother who thinks you are the Holy Grail of parenting. Trust.
People who co-sleep (OR homeschool, plan activities every single day, eat only organic foods, dress kids only in black, dress them in all pink, never yell, buy designer clothes, shop only at Sally Annes, let them watch pg 13 shows, don’t swear, go to church, don’t go to church, never watch t.v., keep Disney characters out of sight, etc etc etc whatever your brand of this-is-the-only-way may be) and act like they’re the only ones doing it right – man. You say your kids are trusting and feel loved and secure and are independent because they sleep with you? That is only part of the equation. Before you open your mouth or spout off on your blog you need to take a step back and realize that they are those things because you found out what worked for them, what worked for you, and then made it happen. Just like I and countless other parents have done in so many, many different ways. There are a lot of Right Ways.
NOW ALLOW ME TO STEP *OFF* MY SOAP BOX and show you some ridiculousness from tonight.