Éowyn and I took a nice long walk to the Post Office this morning – it’s amazingly gorgeous here in town. It’s HOT! I’m wearing a skirt and a short-sleeved shirt and I was HOT! It’s nice, for now, when there is a breeze 🙂 I let Éowyn out of her carriage when we got to the sidewalk and she was really good about walking with me, for the most part. She even held my hand which is a real treat, I just love the way her tiny baby hand feels in mine – and I don’t have to bend down for her at all anymore. I put her in the carriage when she stopped listening and tried to climb people’s front steps and after we went to the P.O. I scrapped my plan to head for the Rec Centre and decided to check out the Farmer’s Market instead. It look like it is just starting up – there weren’t as many stalls as I remember from last year and those that were there weren’t as full. It was nice and colourful and everyone is just so friendly! Three people who I didn’t even know when I moved here stopped to talk to us just to say hi, it was actually really nice. I don’t feel encroached upon when people do that here because there is no history with them – part of it is probably because I don’t work with the public here, too. When this would happen in Whitehorse I’d get nervous and edgy and irritated even if I actually liked the person I was talking to. Ha. That might have something to do with the anti-anxiety meds I’ve been taking*, and if it does… what an amazing change. I love feeling like I can talk to people and not spend the rest of the day agonizing over what I said or didn’t say.
I let the baby out there, too, because it wasn’t full, and she got to pet a bunny, and watch a cockatiel put money into a jar – there is a nice lady named Carol who takes her pet bunny and cockatiel everywhere with her! And it seems like she is genuinely happy to let little kids pet the bunny and talk to the bird. Éowyn has met them a few times, but it’s been awhile and she was pretty enchanted – “Wooowwww!” she said as she pet the bunny’s ears.
I wanted to check out the stall that was selling jewelry – I guess I don’t wear much myself but I *like* it, and definitely love looking and beads all iridescent and colourful in the sunshine – but Éowyn wanted to check out the NEXT stall which had some plants around it, and was selling organic seed packets. The lady selling them was very nice and smiled at us while I perused the different packs and Éowyn sniffed the tomato plants and the lilac bushes, and when I turned to go she made a comment about my scarf – just that she liked it and was it a Guatemalan Hand Made something or other.
I smiled at her real nice and said “Nope! Wal-Mart!”
No snark, guys. Seriously, for once, because she was really very nice and not one of those judgy hippies. But you know… I don’t need to buy a 50 dollar headscarf from Guatemala or plant a packet of bean seeds that cost me 3 dollars to be a good person. And I guess what *really* made my day? Was that I didn’t feel like I had to pretend I did, that I didn’t feel guilty or less than for saying so, and that this person laughed right along with me instead of sniffing and dismissing me.
Some days it doesn’t take much, right?
Gahd, doesn’t she just have the BEST hair?!?!
*Yep, I’m taking medication for long-standing general and social anxiety, manic episodes, panic attacks, depression. If you’re interested I take Celexa for the anxiety and depression and Valproic Acid to even out my moods and counteract Celexa’s tendency to heighten mania. I’m not the kind of person who is gonna go around baiting people to talk to me about this kind of shit, but neither do I think it’s something to hide. I haven’t been taking them for long, but I really think these pills are helping me and days like today kind of confirm that for me. Just wanted to share that.