1 1/2 cups of coffee
2 T f.f. vanilla coffee cream
This was really nice and creamy and sweet! A nice way to use up left over coffee.
When Cat was here I got her a cane from the drugstore because she had forgotten hers. And believe me, when she says she forgot it what she really means is that she is too stubborn to admit that she needs it. Now, she doesn’t see it that way. And I understand. She really does think she forgot it.
I got her the cane, and I still have it – it’s been hanging near our door on our coat rack since she left. Every once in awhile the kid goes and plays with it but she forgets about it soon enough – the other night she NEEDED to have it. She swung it around for a bit, and we took it away. She had a tantrum and we gave it back. Then she swung it around some more and we took it away etc etc. Finally, Stephen showed her how to use it – and off she stomped, pretending to need her cane. And oh my heart. She looked like a miniature Nana. NOT BECAUSE OF THE CANE CAT, just… the… the curls. And the scowl. And the stubborn. And… well ok, and the cane. But just a little bit.
When she was born, the nurses immediately said that she looked like her Dad. And it was so true – my girl had an easy labour and she looked like a real baby when she came out – not squished to hell and back and black and blue and covered in hair like I was.
My poor mother. She screamed when she saw me.
She was also in labour for 36 excruciating hours. Things were so fucked they couldn’t even do an emergency C-section. They couldn’t medivac her. She almost died. I almost died. My dad almost punched the doctor. The doctor almost punched my dad. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks.
THREE MONTHS LATER SHE WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.
My mother. When I tell her that the baby won’t sleep she laughs at me. I understand. I do.
Anyways, so unlike SOME newborns who look like monstrosities (you know, like me. Don’t pretend they’re not out there, it happens and it’s kind of scary, but it’s no use lying about it.) and unlike SOME newborns who just look like… babies… Éowyn really did look like Stephen. She was bald, and very red in the face, and wrinkly, and toothless – and she had the exact same chin.
So it was very cool to see that she looked like her dad. I think she’s starting to look more like me as she gets older – though it’s hard to tell when she’s so young and has so much baby in her face still. She still has his chin though – and her blue blue eyes are his and no one else’s. And I love it. That hair though… that is her Nana’s hair. And her cheeks and… just the lines of her face sometimes, they speak so strongly of my mother.
I always thought it would be nice to have a little mini-me. And she does look like me in ways, and at times. I was happy to see the shape of her eyes start looking like mine, and… not so happy to see her ears looking like mine but… well. She has a lot of room for piercings, which she might appreciate. Mostly I don’t see anything of mine, though. It was surprising to realize this, as self centered as I am, but it doesn’t matter if she looks like me or not. My favourite gift is seeing the two people I love best in the world in this little bundle of energy and stubbornness and sweetness that is my child. What a trip.
Here’s a little aside for you – and Cat, please tell Dan about this! – my girl has a dimple on the left side of her mouth. I noticed it when she was about… say 11 months old? It was shortly after we moved here. And I didn’t really think about where it came from, just thought it was cute. A few days later I was putting up some pictures on my fridge and I noticed one in particular of Cat and Dan. It’s a photo booth picture from Quebec – and Dan is about 7 or 8 in it. And right there, beside his mouth, is the exact. Same. Dimple. ❤